Yes I am fierce but I am also a sensitive baby!!! Talk to me nice please

I've been taking this pattern making course at FIT the Fashion Institute of Technology. The class was a birthday gift to myself costing $380 for 4 three hour long classes. A month of showing up being extremely present and learning the fundamentals of a complex craft. My teacher is very strict and extremely blunt. If you're not doing it right it will be noticed and remarked upon. I took this class because I wanted to know the basics of making patterns for clothes. I have reverence for the craft. Naturally, this was going to be a challenge because the technical side of making has never been my strong suit. For reference I cannot cut a straight line and I quit sewing class at Parsons after the first lesson because I could not sew a basic stitch. Intuitiveness and non-perfection is what makes my work work. I have no Virgo placements. I am air and fire baby--swirling, conjuring and magician-ing. 

Yesterday I had no gas in the tank after a long but successful day at work. I put a lot of myself into finishing a class project, being presentable for Back to School Night, mingling and just giving my best to my job. After Back to School Night ran long I had to rush to FIT so that I could make my class on time because my professor is a stickler on time. The first day I was 2 minutes late and she almost blocked me from entering the class. That was my first impression. After an already 10 hour day I was there for another 3 hours to learn a more complicated application of what pattern making has revealed itself to be. We drew out a skirt and I kid you not, every time this woman came to my place she scolded me on what I was doing and how I was doing it and asking to see if I noticed how wrong it was. I can humble myself but only so much. After picking me apart and telling me to fix thing after thing after thing the feeling of defeat was imminent. Frustration boiled over and after her last visit I excused myself to cry and regroup in the hallway. 

Once the tears start they don't stop until I can really let it out. 

I decided to leave the class after the next demo. She was showing us even more complicated shit (how to put darts into a skirt) and after accomplishing practically nothing already I was waiting for when the demo would end so I could pack my stuff up and go. We dispersed and as I started cleaning up and she comes to me to say she would do it with me. Too little too late Bernadette and its not even personal. I just needed to go because I did not have the patience required or the will to prove anything that day. 

When people come to me with a fierceness it is my nature to match them. Yes I am fierce but I am also a grace giver and a sensitive baby. I don't mind correction but read the room man. Talk to me nice please!!!

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