DiOSA

Nature is the initiator   Like attracts like   Overlooking the desert,  a young couple embrace each other She’s wearing a pleated emerald dress   Short, long sleeved He holds her warmth   & I’m jealous       watching him stroke her backside   ~Sunset time~ makes me horny   Girls my age are getting married,   fitting themselves for celebrations For some reason I shutter from the same  despite my desire I'm not done living yet   Still,  in the face of majesty  I am not immune I’ve memorized the texture of your hair follicles jet black in the eyes you blaze  Burn a hole in me Throw a log in my fire   Bailey's Nervous Kats, First Love (1962)

  Apparently Mr. Davis passed before this record was released. She bangs. 

Gemini sun Aries moon & rising

 Every win means something. I love progress...even when its slow. 

I dance to give honor to the angels and saints who put me in this position to not give a FUCK and live in full truth regardless of who bares witness. Un-evolved men see this and are confused. Confused or envious. Women are the water. Women are the fountain every living thing must bow their heads to drink from. Men have sperm. Women are the carriers and have the centuries upon centuries long technology on how to move through emotions, physical embodiment, labor of all sorts and community building.  

At the gala   we celebrated under seen youth. We gave the youth a chance by offering them programs to start tech jobs we desperately needed more engineers of love of compassion perhaps more of those opera singers belting the blues to the furthest seat in the balcony. When I entered the conference room men in suits wore sneakers on the bottom and I thought of Virgil as I myself wore a plaid three piece skirt suit and cheetah sneakers so I thought of myself in a way that made me neither vain nor self conscious. On the lighter side of the spectrum gray skies offer themselves as an outlet for my misplaced observations, a worry I must've inherited from the women around me or those I never met or the man in my life.   I can’t stop saying it but it doesn’t make it less true.   There’s only a few ways to express love words in English. So instead I play a song say thank you, I see you, I’m so happy you’re here, where was I before you, I remember when I used to pray for these days ...

I haven’t been to one wedding since I was a child. The bride was my aunt’s stepmother, and the groom was her father. When I say aunt I don’t mean a literal blood relative, my Aunt Janine is my mother’s best friend and these were her parents. This is how Black families work. Sister and friend are pretty much the same thing.  My first wedding was between two elders who found each other later in life. Mr Boynes, 51 and his soon to be fifth wife Debra was 40. They met at church, singing in the choir. I was one of three flower girls.  + + + + Marriage,  as I learned in my Catholic school,  was a financial agreement before it was ever a feeling. One family connects to another to combine their assets for one joint slay. In Leviticus chapter 18 Jacob worked for Laban for seven years only so he could marry his youngest daughter Rachel. At the wedding, Laban switched Rachel with his eldest daughter. For Jacob to marry the woman he actually loved, he had to work another 7 years...

For some reason I fully expect to have a daughter. I used to be convinced I'd have a son but I'm likely going to have a daughter and I can wait to meet her only because I want her to grow on the best ground possible.  + I saw my dad yesterday and he is not well. My Aunt Sandra was there too.  By the time I have a child she may not have a grandfather. She will have at least three grandmothers from my side alone.  + Maternal side~ My great grandma was an only child. She was a stoic alcoholic. We overlapped for about 9 or 10 years.  My grandmother was a stoic Pisces. She was excellent with money and died a millionaire on a school secretary's salary. My mother is a spiritual advisor and medium. She came from a two parent household with a loving father. She can get violent with men when she feels challenged. Like my grandmother, she is brilliant at money management.  We are all only children.  Paternal side~ I don't know my great grandmother whatsoever. If I as...

 & the body will be more tea than it ever has! EVER!!!

power to those living loud and proud <3

I was in New York but in a hotel. I was walking to this food hall called Delancey Market. I was getting blessed with free food like pizza and fries. I was walking back to my apartment eating the slice and it was delicious. Then a raggedy mob of white guys stopped to tell me I couldn't eat on the streets between certain hours. They were incel presenting but somehow I knew they were gay? I was like yeah, WHATEVER and kept going then Adam came out of nowhere and was like they’re right and I was like um what. I went to challenge them and then realized the leader who was a fat greasy white boy acting like a hall monitor was wearing a neo nazi shirt with text on it. It was unwise to challenge them alone so I just went back to my apartment. My security in the apartment was operations team from my school. So I told them the foolishness. It was starting, in my spirit, to become obvious that this was the Trump America and it was becoming more fascist and we would really have to step up if we...

 

 

  Totally porous semi-pornographic spongebarb. Surprisingly my boyfriend wasn't into it. 

In my hands I hold two ropes It’s a tug of war against me What I want vs what I accept  In the process of pulling the tension of the two ropes snap and suddenly  my palms are bleeding  

One gorgeous thing I love about traditional notions of femininity is long beautiful hair. Hair that runs down the back like a dark river or road one that erases the trunk of the body from the back and when dancing, the best accessory is long hair to flip around and punctuate the air using your neck as leverage for your gorgeous organ. Any person with long long long hair I share a part of my internal reflection.

  hear air see wind touch tree bark  mold it out of clay  what makes clay is dirt  earth the memory of a location or a people before you  is the least selfish way you can acknowledge yourself & your place in history lineage cont.

You need a job   If you don’t have a job… Everyone’s searching for jobs Jobs are not hiring   I’m the ideas man I handle the thoughts and deconstructions   Now I’m going to have to act I want a work opportunity that generates comfortable income for my lifestyle. One that I can show up as myself receive trust and acceptance with several extended vacation breaks and a 10am start time. This work fits comfortably in my social and creative/spiritual/work schedule + gives me space to dive into my own research.  

At the gala we celebrated under seen youth. We gave the youth a chance by offering them programs to start tech jobs we desperately needed more engineers of love of compassion perhaps more of those opera singers belting the blues to the furthest seat in the balcony. When I entered the conference room men in suits wore sneakers on the bottom and I thought of Virgil as I myself wore a plaid three piece skirt suit and cheetah sneakers so I thought of myself in a way that made me neither vain or self conscious. On the lighter side of the spectrum gray skies offer themselves as an outlet for my misplaced observations, a worry I must've inherited from the women around me or those I never met or the man in my life.   I can’t stop saying it but it doesn’t make it less true.   There’s only a few ways to express love words in English. So instead I play a song say thank you, I see you, I’m so happy you’re here, where was I before you, I remember when I used to pray for these days I spend ...

Let’s sunset gaze   5pm in November this morning I had a therapy session about my anxiety   An anxiety I managed and survived by the grace of god she says why don’t you try writing stuff down but if I do this for a living I wonder how much money would I have to pay to get this job telling people the most obvious things perhaps not too obvious since my therapist suggested it to me and I felt good when I decided to write it down

     We cry by the ocean It’s the perfect day   the shortest of the whole year A new season rips the seam of the soul  scooping the dirt and grime           with a strong intentional hand

I was happy making out with a girl and my boyfriend was happy making out with me and we must have been making out with each other because it felt taboo in the way that rejects colonialism and challenges notions of property which in and of itself is an abomination to the hidden truth of abundance on earth but also like the opening of a precious dewy flower in Opening up a relationship when your boyfriend expresses his desire for physical stimulation and suddenly you start dreaming of enjoying it with him,,, is that the normalization of a defeated boundary or an awakening stripped clean? Thinking

This is a heartstring waiting to be tugged on.   

 

Cold has landed on my fingertips My heart is full of sorrows and secrets I’m checking my astrology calendar it must be poetry season   too often in my short little life I’ve questioned what my one thing was   my minutes and hours that lead to triumph in my one little thing I’m climbing now that big rock  which has felt the trepidations  of the past summer  now in the distance and  I’m listening to the acoustic guitar singing today is the greatest I cried so many times but my fear now is that poetry season is upon us & I’m open in ways men find intimidating but silently admire. 11.2.25

  Last week I auditioned for a strip club   I was at Disney land in Bushwick.   & it didn’t go well   We were doing a dance practice and the bar was disgusting   I thought the dream I had last week about the basement was about a dungeon but I think it was actually about the strip club. At the strip club We did a choreographed dance   all the the burlesque girls in unison From the side of my eye I saw a disgusting roach on a plant and screamed a little bit but kept going.   Exposure therapy   One of the girls found a cocoon on the dancefloor, not yet a butterfly. There was a clear liquid pouring out of the cocoon revealing inside a pregnant caterpillar. worms in one place other gross shit in another. In the basement   I dreamed rejection, humiliation very necessary for becoming a monarch.   Damn   times are really tough. 10.15.25

You have a piece of me I have a piece of you. We’ll just keep holding these pieces until they come together again. Or bury them in the sands of Rockaway Beach. Then we’ll consummate the end of one thing and the beginning of another.

In the warm water of the belly,  a living being is formed in the perception of darkness.  The perception of darkness suggests there is no life, no space, no nothing. True darkness is the total absence of light and sound entirely, that of which is equivalent to death.  A body of possibilities bounce within the perception of darkness; one being that the hollowing is not in fact empty. Perhaps, while invisible and unannounced, there is life everywhere and we are full of several things at once all waiting in the queue of emergence.   + Last January my astrologer, fellow poet, T.C. Gardstein told me over Zoom I was in a gestation period. While I was not literally with child (super celibate for months) what I was pregnant with had just started production. It would not take recognizable shape until later this year. August, she said, it would begin to crown.   + August 15, 2025 Inside the rough unassuming mussel she shucks open a tiny sliver  With her bar...